Thursday, November 3, 2011

Secret #14 I want to tell you everything but i cant.

there's this boy
and i just want to tell him everything.
everything that has brought me pain.
every sad moment.
and why.
i started crying the other night.
he held me and was so comforting.
kissed me when i cried.
and no ones ever done that for me before.
whenever i cried.
no ones been there.
just my pillow and me.
i've never known the comfort of having someone there.
it was a big relief.
and yet horribly embarassing...
i hate crying in front of people.
he said i looked beautiful.
even when i was crying.
i didnt know what to say.
he said i could tell him anything.
if i ever needed someone to talk to.
he would be there.
i wanted to tell him everything.
i physically couldnt.
i couldnt speak.
there was a lump in my throat.
maybe i'll tell him one day.
but all i could do is cry.

i do also have trust issues.
fifteen boys.
i've been hurt by fifteen boys.
of course i'd have trust issues.

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